


My Spirk One-Shot Collection, Part 5

by IvanW



Series: Ivan's One-Shot Collection [5]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Jim, Comedy, Connected One Shots, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Epic Romance, Eventual Romance, Family Issues, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Hurt!Jim, Hurt!Spock, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot Collection, One-Shots, Pre-Slash, Series, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slash, Spirk One-Shots, Top Spock, temporary de-aging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-07-19 18:14:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 18,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7372369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a new collection and slightly different from the previous 4 in that the Kirk and Spock in each story will be the same Kirk and Spock throughout. Taking them from pre-slash to slash to old space husbands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Spock is Ill

Jim punched in his access code and waited as the door slid open.

The lights were at about 50% and the temperature was…hot.

“Spock?”

“Here, Captain.”

Spock’s voice came from the separate bedroom area.Jim hesitated. It was not his intention to invade his first officer’s carefully guarded privacy. But Spock already knew he was there. 

He looked around the corner of the divider and saw Spock sitting up in bed, bundled up in blankets.

“Hey.”

“Captain, I apologize for my inability to greet you more professionally at present.”

“No, it’s all right.”Jim entered the bedroom. “I would have been here sooner to check on you but I went to the medbay first.”

“Dr. McCoy said my illness did not require recuperation in the medbay.”

Jim smiled or he thought he did. “You look pale. I mean pale for you.”

Spock nodded. “I have been advised to be off for forty-eight hours. However, if I am needed I will—”

“No way. Don’t even think about getting up. You aren’t needed. Well, you are. But I can handle a couple of days without you. The crew can, I mean.” Jim pulled at his collar.

“I can lower the temperature if you are uncomfortable.”

“Spock, it’s fine. This is your quarters. You want some tea?”

Spock seemed to hesitate.

“You do, I can see it.”

“Replicated tea will be acceptable.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “I’ll make you a pot. Hang on.”

Jim went into the other part of Spock’s quarters where he knew his first officer kept his tea supplies. He had a brief moment where he wondered if maybe that was weird that he knew. But then they did play chess in Spock’s quarters sometimes. More often Jim’s, though. He always figured Spock didn’t really want many people in there. He knew Uhura had spent time there, though when they were more than friends they’d spent more time in her quarters.

Jim stopped when he spotted a teapot on the shelf. He picked it up and brought it back into Spock’s bedroom.

“You kept it.”

Spock arched an eyebrow. “It was a gift from you, why would I not?”

“Well.” Jim shrugged awkwardly. “Um. Well. I know it was kind of silly.”

“It is a serviceable teapot.”

Jim smiled as he glanced down at the humpback whale teapot. “Yeah?”

“Indeed.”

“And you use it sometimes?”

“Frequently.”

“I don’t really even know why I got it for you. I mean, yeah, I know you like tea.”

“It was for my birthday.”

“Oh, yeah, I know the occasion.” Jim turned the teapot over in his hands. “I just meant the whales. It’s kind of a whimsical choice for you.”

“Yes, but not unwelcome,” Spock said quietly.

“I’ll go make your tea,” Jim said and then went back over to brew some tea in the whale pot. He brought it along with a cup back to Spock’s bedroom. He set it on the table next to Spock and then handed the cup to Spock.

“Thank you, Captain. It is kind of you. But I do not need to be waited on.”

“It’s really no trouble, Spock.” Jim eyed the teapot. “I’d never seen a whale when I grew up in Riverside. I’d seen picture and video, stuff like that. But there was an aquarium on Tar—on a planet I spent time on and they had whales. Not humpbacks though. These ones were native to their own oceans.”

Jim was babbling and he knew it. Almost revealing too much information that he didn’t want Spock to know and anyway Spock likely didn’t care about anyway.   

“How’s the tea?” he asked after Spock took a sip.

“Acceptable.”

“Someday I’m going to get you to say It’s the best tasting something or other you’ve ever had,” Jim joked. “Anyway, I’m due on the bridge. I just wanted to make sure you were going to live.”

“I am certain Dr. McCoy already relayed that information to you.”

Jim sighed inwardly. “Yeah, he did. I’ll check with you after my shift.”

“That is entirely unnecessary, Captain.”

Jim tried not to let that bother him. He really tried. “Okay then. Rest well, Mr. Spock.”

“Thank you, Captain. For the tea and the teapot.”

“It was nothing.”

Jim left Spock’s quarters, hearing Spock’s command to lower the lights as he departed. He stopped at the nearest comm.

“Jim to the medbay.”

“McCoy here.”

“Bones.”

“Yeah, Jim?”

“You busy later?”

Pause.

“What’d you have in mind?”

“Cards. Drinks. Cards and drinks. Chess?”

Bones snorted. “Save that for your Vulcan friend. Sure, Jim. Come by after your shift. We’ll do dinner first.”

“Jim out.”

****

“You’re glum.”

“Am I?” Jim wound his spaghetti around his fork.

Bones nodded. “You miss your bestie?”

“Nope.” Jim smiled. “You’re sitting right here.”

“Second bestie.”

“I checked on him earlier. Made him tea.”

“Very domesticated of you.”

“I can be domesticated,” Jim insisted. “Ish. Sort of.”

“I need to go look in on him after dinner and before we play cards.”

“He’s really going to be okay?” Jim hoped it didn’t sound so whiny and desperate.

“Sure. Just something Vulcans are susceptible to he caught on Leniere 12.”

Jim chewed a bite of his spaghetti marinara.  “Is it my imagination or is the food better on this Enterprise?”

“It’s definitely better. I could actually drink my coffee this morning.”

Jim eyed Bones’ ginger cake. “You gonna eat that?”

Bones smiled and pushed it toward him. “Help yourself.”

****

“Doctor, Captain.”

“Hiya, Spock. Sorry for the intrusion, but Bones and I were on a date,” Jim joked.

Both of Spock’s eyebrows went up. “A date, Captain?”

“You wish,” Bones said, taking out his scanner to wave it at Spock.

“Hey, we had dinner and now we’re going for drinks and games. Sounds like a date to me. No sex though. I’m not that easy.”  

Bones snorted. “You’re that easy.” He turned off his scanner. “Fortunately, I’m not interested.”

“Hey!”

“You’re doing fine, Spock. You should be fit for duty once those first forty-eight hours I mentioned to you are through.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

“And eat something.” Bones glanced at Jim. “Meet me in the rec room. I’ve gotta go file a report on this in the medbay. Ten minutes.”

Jim smiled. “Okay.”

When Bones had left, Jim turned to Spock. “What do you want, Spock?”

“Captain?”

“To eat. I’ll get it for you.”

“You do not have to wait—”

“That’s an order, mister.”

“Vegetable soup, Captain.”

Jim nodded and went into the room with the replicator. He got Spock’s soup and brought it to him.

Spock stared at it. “This is Plomeek soup.”

“I know.” Jim smiled. “See you later, Spock.”

“Captain? We have never had it programmed before”

“I know. Got the recipe from your dad. Night, Spock.”

“Goodnight, Jim.”

Ah, a ‘Jim”. Success then. And Jim had to admit he was oddly pleased.    


	2. A Kid Again

Spock stepped into the little private room that served as Dr. McCoy’s office. The small blond boy sat in the desk chair, his legs drawn up close to his body. He held what appeared to be a toy dinosaur in his hands.

“Hello, Jim.”

Blue eyes rose to stare at Spock. His bottom lip trembled just a little and Spock had an illogical desire to hold him close and protect him from all things.

“Hello.”

“I am Spock.”

He nodded. “I know. Dr. McCoy told me your name.”

“Do you know where you are, Jim?”

“Dr. McCoy said it’s called the starship, Enterprise.”

“That is correct.”

Jim stared at his dinosaur. “My daddy died on a starship.”

Spock squatted down next to young Jim. “Yes. But not this one. How old are you, Jim?”

“Seven.”

Jim had gone down to the planet, Stariel, where during a diplomatic dinner he’d been given a native nut by a careless server. He’d eaten the nut before he could be stopped by the planet’s leaders and this had been the result. Spock and McCoy had been assured by the Starielites that the effect should be temporary. In the meantime, their captain was a child who had no memory of his current life.

“Here we are!” Nurse Chapel came into the office holding a tray of what Spock knew to be hot dogs. “Lunch.”

Jim’s eyes lit up. “I’m starving.”

Nurse Chapel beamed at him. “Well, this should fill you pretty good, Cap—Jim.”

She put the tray of hot dogs, four of them from the look of it, in front of the boy. “Milk?”

“No, thank you, Miss Chapel. Don’t really like milk.”

“I’ll get you some water then. Be right back.”

Jim picked up a hot dog in a bun. His gaze rose to Spock. “Did you want one, sir?”

“No, Jim, and you can call me Spock, there is no need for calling me sir. I do not eat meat.”

“Oh.” Jim nodded and took a bite of the hot dog.

Dr. McCoy came in then carrying the glass of water which he put before Jim. He smiled kindly at Jim, who was eating his hot dogs with intense concentration.

“Well, physically he’s okay. I mean as a seven-year-old. Maybe a little thin. And his mind is appropriate for that age too,” McCoy told Spock in a quiet voice.

“And we have no idea how long it will take before he transitions back into the captain?”

“Not really. The Starielites suggested within forty-eight to seventy-two hours.” McCoy sighed. “I’ll keep him in the medbay.”

Spock shook his head. “I hardly think that’s necessary or ideal, doctor. I think some semblance of normalcy would be preferred.”

“Hmm. I guess I can ask Christine if she’ll—”

“I will watch over Jim in his own quarters.”

“You, Spock?”

“Certainly, doctor. I am aware of the needs of a child, having been a child once myself.”

McCoy smirked. “A Vulcan child.”

“Indeed.”

“Oh all right. I guess you can’t do much harm to him in two or three days.”

Spock raised his brow. “I have no intention of harming him.”

McCoy rolled his eyebrows then turned to Jim, who was just finishing the fourth hot dog.

The boy blushed. “I’m sorry, I-I was hungry. I didn’t mean to eat them all.”

“Now, Jim, it’s fine. Those were all for you,” McCoy said gently.

“Yeah?” Jim asked doubtfully.

“Yes. Spock’s going to take you to where you will sleep.”

Jim bit his lip but rose from the seat, picking up the dinosaur.  He left Dr. McCoy’s office and followed Spock out of the medbay and to the turbolift. He got in without a word but he looked around as it began to move, his blue eyes wide.

“No one will hurt you here, Jim,” Spock said, trying to assure him.  

When they got out of the turbolift, Jim seemed uncertain as many crew members passed them by, so Spock laid a hand on Jim’s shoulder and led him down the corridor to his quarters.

“Who lives here?” Jim asked as they entered the room.

“The captain,” Spock replied honestly.

“Will he mind that I sleep here?”

“I assure you that he will not.”

Jim licked his lips in a gesture so familiar Spock’s side ached. The boy walked over to the separate bedroom and looked down at the bed. “Big bed. He must be very important.”

“He is.”

Jim turned to look at Spock. “He can’t get in, can he?”

“The captain? Not at present. But he would not harm you.”

“No, not him.” Jim hugged himself. “Frank.”

Spock grabbed Jim’s little hand in his and drew him into the living room area and over to the couch. He tugged Jim down to sit and then sat beside him.

“Jim, who is Frank?”

“My stepfather. He’s…”

“A bad man?”

Jim nodded, looking down at his hands.

“He is not here anywhere on the ship and he will not harm you. I would not let him.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. No one will hurt you on this ship. I will protect you.”

Jim gazed at him shyly. “Why?”

“It is my duty.”

“Okay. Can I have some hot chocolate, Spock?”

“Of course you may.” Spock rose and went to the replicator and got Jim a cup of hot chocolate. “With whip cream, right?”

Jim nodded.

Spock brought it to him.

“Thank you.”

“You are welcome, Jim.”

“Do you want some?” Jim asked, his upper lip covered with whipped cream.

“No, I rarely indulge in chocolate,” Spock told him.

“You’re not allergic, are you?”

“No, I am not. It is simply not something Vulcans find particularly appealing.”

“Oh. I like Vulcans.”

“Do you?”

Jim smiled a little. “I like you anyway.”

Spock found himself smiling slightly in return. “I like you as well, Jim.”

****

“So, you really don’t remember being seven years old again?” Dr. McCoy asked the captain as they took breakfast trays to a table in the mess.

“Nope.” Kirk sat next to Spock and across from McCoy. He had a plate full of bacon, eggs and potatoes he called tater tots. He was currently corrupting the tots with ketchup. “I did find a toy dinosaur in my quarters though.”

“You were quite fond of that particular object,” Spock said reaching for his tea. He’d chosen oatmeal and fruit for his own breakfast while the doctor had a bowl of crispy puffed rice.

“Where’d it come from?” Kirk asked as he spooned some fried egg.

“I believe Mr. Scott had it.”

“Scotty?” Kirk chuckled. “I don’t even want to know.”

“Spock took care of you.”

Kirk turned to look at Spock, his eyebrows raised in evident surprise. “Yeah?”

“Merely fulfilling my duties as your first officer, Captain. Plus, during my recent illness, you did take care of me. Mere reciprocation.”

Kirk smiled. “Well, thank you, Spock. That was pretty cool of you.”

“Not a thing, huh?” Dr. McCoy shook his head. “Well, let me tell you, you were cute as a button.”

“I’ve always been cute,” Kirk said with a huge grin.

Spock decided he could not dispute that.

“Oh. You know. There is one thing though.”

“What is that, Captain?”

“I don’t think I can look at another hot dog for at least six months.” Kirk shuddered.       


	3. A Loss

Jim was looking forward to the arrival of his first officer for a chess game. Jim hadn’t played chess in years, actually.

When he was a boy he’d played. Mostly with Sam, his brother. After Sam left there was no one to play with because his mom was off planet and not much of a chess player, and Frank…well, Jim did everything he could to stay off Frank’s radar. At least then.

After he’d been sent to Tarsus IV he’d played chess with Maximillian. Max had known Jim’s father back in his father’s academy days. Max had been a professor at the school but had since retired on the planet, Tarsus IV, with his husband, Xavier. They’d been good to Jim and for a while he had enjoyed his time on Tarsus IV.

Until he didn’t.

Max and Xavier had not survived.

Jim had.

He hadn’t played chess since and he knew he was rusty at it and Spock would likely kick his ass. But it was time he would spend with Spock and he wasn’t really ready to analyze why that meant so much.

Jim had a bit of time left so he got himself a chicken sandwich and a coffee and sat down at his terminal. He’d barely gotten a chance to do anything when he got a notice he was being contacted by his mother.

Jim frowned but he accepted the transmission. She looked weary and really sad.

“Mom?”

“Hello, Jim.” She shook her head. “There’s really no way to say this other than straight out. Your grandmother has died. George’s mom. She went peacefully in her sleep yesterday.”

“Oh.” Jim felt as though a rubber band had been tightened around his chest. “I-I see.”

“Want to talk about it?” she asked, not unkindly, really, but in a sort of offhand manner, as though she thought she had to make the offer, but didn’t really want to.

“No. Um. That’s okay. I’m expecting someone.” Jim thought about what he should ask. “Have they-when’s the funeral?”

“The day after tomorrow. I’ll covey your condolences.”

“You’re going?’ Jim couldn’t hide his surprise though he should have judging by the slight narrowing of her eyes and the disapproving line of her mouth. But he knew his mom hadn’t been in touch with his dad’s mother for years.

“Yes, I’m going. It’s the respectful thing to do. And what your father would have wanted,” his mother said coolly.

“Okay.” Jim nodded. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“Of course. You’re all right otherwise, Jim?”

Again with the tone that told Jim she thought she had to ask. Maybe he was being unfair.

“Yeah, sure. You?”

She frowned a little. “I suppose I am. I’ll let you go since you’re expecting someone. Talk soon?”

“Yeah.”

The transmission winked out and Jim was left staring at the Federation Screen.

His door chimed.

“Come in.”

Spock stepped inside, carrying his chess set since Jim hadn’t had one. Spock’s gaze went to Jim’s largely untouched chicken sandwich.

“You did say 1900 hundred hours.”

“Yeah, yeah, I did.” Jim stood up and came around his desk, pointing to a table for Spock to set up the game.

“Are you all right, Captain?” Spock asked, making no move to begin setting up.

“Yeah.” He licked his lips. “Just talked to my mom. My dad’s mom passed away.”

“I grieve with thee.”

Jim attempted a smile but even he could tell it came out as a grimace.

“If you would like to postpone our game—”

“No. I…no. Let’s do it.”

Spock nodded and set up the game and then obtained tea from the replicator. “Your move, Captain.”

Jim moved his pawn. “You know it’s funny.”

“What is?”

“The last time I saw her was when I was about ten years old.”

“Your grandmother?”

“Yeah. Before that I used to get to visit her and my grandfather. Mostly summers. He died when I was nine and so the following summer was the last time I went to see her.” Jim shook his head. “She used to tell me all the time how much I looked like Dad.”

“What happened that your visits ceased?” Spock asked, lifting his tea to his lips.

Jim started to say he didn’t know but then he realized that wasn’t exactly true. That final summer, Jim had arrived with numerous bruises. It had been a particularly bad time for Jim with his stepfather. His mom hadn’t been around and Frank took it out on Jim.

His grandmother couldn’t and hadn’t failed to notice and Jim remembered her disapproval and her loud arguments with his mom. After that, Jim hadn’t gone back. Whether his grandmother had asked for him, Jim couldn’t say. He suspected she had and had been rejected. After all they’d chosen to send him to Tarsus IV rather than to live with his grandmother when they couldn’t handle his rebellious behavior.

But Jim couldn’t say all this to Spock. His abuse at the hands of Frank was a well-kept secret from—well everyone. And Tarsus IV was something he kept shut out even more than the abuse.

“I think there was a disagreement with my mother,” Jim said slowly. “They didn’t get along all the time I guess. Mom once told me my grandmother wanted my dad to marry a girl named Angela who wasn’t part of Starfleet.”

“I am sorry for your loss,” Spock replied. “If you are too distracted to continue the game--”

“No. I got this.” Jim moved again and didn’t speak for several more moves. He suddenly remembered something he had almost forgotten. “He played chess.”

“Who?”

“My grandfather. We played over those summers.” Jim shrugged a little. “I guess my dad did, too. He told me he taught my dad.”

Spock tilted his head. “Checkmate.”

Jim laughed. “I’m a little rusty. It’s been years.”

“You were a worthy opponent,” Spock assured him. “I would not be averse to playing again.” Spock rose. “And now I will leave you to your evening. There are some reports I need to do before I meditate.”

Jim rose too and walked Spock to the door. “Thanks for the game, Spock.”

“You are welcome, Captain.”

Jim stared at the closed door for longer than he should have and then went back to his desk to find correspondence from his mother.

“Thought you might like to see these. Mom.”

She’d attached several old photographs. Some were his grandparents when they’d first gotten married themselves. God, they were so young. And then later pictures were of them with their son, George.

Jim touched the screen where his father’s picture was. Stupid of course. His dad wasn’t there anymore. None of them were now. No member of his dad’s family lived. All gone.

The last few pictures were of him and Sam with their grandparents. Including one final one from that last summer of just Jim and his grandmother. They were standing on her back porch, arms around each other. She had a big smile on her face. Jim couldn't even remember who took the picture. But they both looked happy. Sometimes Jim couldn't remember being happy. 

A tear fell down Jim’s cheek.

“Bye, Gran.”


	4. Spock's Personal Log

**First Officer’s Personal Log, Confidential, Security Code 44121**

Entry 1251 

Captain Kirk has been talking increasingly of our upcoming shore leave, to take place on the snow-covered planet of Alpine 3, which was approved by Admiral Estrella. During our chess match last evening at 2100 hours he expressed an interest in my accompanying him and Dr. McCoy on leave. I explained to him, for I believe the fourth time, that I do not find the need for shore leave, and most especially on a planet known for its activities related to snow. He seemed disappointed, though I cannot speculate as to why.

 

Entry 1253 

Dinner with Nyota Uhura. During our conversation, I revealed to Nyota the captain’s request that I accompany him and the doctor to Alpine 3. She expressed remorse that I had rejected Jim’s request and encouraged me to change my mind. I was not aware of a reason to do so.

 

Entry 1256 

The captain has returned from Alpine 3 in a very good mood. Apparently he enjoyed his shore leave. He expressed further regret that I had not altered my plans. I queried about his activities as I understand humans like to be asked about their days. With no little animation of the captain’s hands he spent the better part of our chess game advising me he’d gone skiing— “Bones was afraid I’d break my leg or worse my neck”— sledding, and snowboarding. The three “S’s” he called them with an overly excited gleam in his eyes.

My gaze could not have failed to miss the marks upon my captain’s neck. He flushed and laughed when he noticed that I had noticed and explained they came from the fourth “S”, a snow bunny. Since I knew he had not copulated with a rabbit I guessed his meaning. Especially when he had clarified her name had been Susan and she was a commander on the starship, Excelsior, also on shore leave on Alpine 3 at the time.

I had the illogical thought that I should have gone to Alpine 3 with the captain and the doctor.

 

Entry 1259 

The captain has been injured. I stayed on the bridge during the away mission. The captain went with Nyota, Ensign Chekov, and Dr. McCoy as well as two security officers. One security officer was killed. It was fortunate Dr. McCoy was with the captain at the time of his injury and he was able to begin treatment.

Still I am…concerned. After all, the captain is an admirable commanding officer.

Dr. McCoy insisted I depart the medbay, so I am monitoring the captain’s vitals while in my quarters. I must meditate.

 

Entry 1260 

The captain is awake and complaining to Dr. McCoy.

I am gratified.

 

Entry 1264 

This-this is illogical. And yet…undeniable.

No amount of meditating has changed the outcome. For not the first time I question my decision not to undergo Kolinahr.


	5. The Interview

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a certain actor's reluctance to engage in social media, press, etc.

He was late.

He knew he was. Yet he still sat behind his desk, staring at the screen which had gone blank some time ago. His conversation with Admiral Estrella played over and over in his head like a bad dream.

_“Kirk, I know you have better things to do than to talk to me, but I wanted to talk to you about something,” Admiral Edward Estrella started off in his transmission._

_“Sir?”_

_“You know about the press.”_

_“Press, sir?” His fingers automatically twisted each other._

_Estrella nodded. “The thing is, the powers that be at the Federation have a new online magazine. Quite a number of subscriptions around the galaxy. Something they’re quite proud of.”_

_Jim tried to imagine what any of this had to do with him so he waited._

_“They’d like us to cooperate with an upcoming issue.”_

_“I see.”_

_“I hope you do. Because the issue is going to feature several prominent Starfleet officers.” Estrella paused. “Including you.”_

_“Me, sir?” Jim was already breaking out into a sweat._

_“Yes. You’ll be interviewed by their staff and then—”_

_“Admiral, I’m not really comfortable in interviews.”_

_Estrella waved that away. “Nonsense. You’ll do fine. And then the second part is the most exciting.”_

_Jim’s stomach twisted with dread. “Yes?”_

_“There will be a live question and answer session with your fans able to ask you anything they want.”_

_Jim gaped at Estrella. “Fans? Sir, I don’t have fans. I’m a starship captain not a celebrity.”_

_“You have fans. Legions of them. Trust me, Kirk, you’re very popular. You are a celebrity.”_

_“I really don’t think—”_

_“Haven’t you heard about the posters?”_

_“I mean I kind of blend in with crowds and no one ever notices me. I kind of like it that way,” Jim said. Paused. “Posters?”_

_“Indeed. Thousands of young teens have your poster up in their bedrooms, Kirk. You’re an inspiration for them and many of them have huge crushes on you.”_

_Jim felt his face grow hot. “Crushes? Admiral, I don’t—”_

_“This is great publicity for the ‘Fleet, Kirk. We’re counting on you to put your best foot forward.”_

_Jim felt like he might throw up. “What about Captain Evans? Surely he’s more suited for this kind of thing.”_

_“Oh, he’s involved too.”_

_“Captain Pratt?”_

_Estrella smiled. “Yes, he’s being interviewed as well.”_

_“Well, then perhaps female representation—”_

_“Already taken care of. There are three men and three women being interviewed. And all six of you will take part in the individual live chat sessions.”_

_“Sir, I’m not really good at the social media stuff and I’d really rather maintain my anonymity.”_

_Estrella’s eyes sharpened. “The decision has been made. I’m sure we can count on your cooperation. Right, Kirk?”_

_“Yes, Admiral.”_

_“Splendid. I’ll have my assistant forward you the details and the necessary information. Estrella out.”_

And Jim had been sitting behind his desk ever since.

People assumed he was some kind of cocky bastard who was comfortable with this sort of shit and more, but the truth was quite different. Already he felt on the edge of an anxiety attack and it wasn’t even time for the interview.

_Live chat?_ What the hell was he supposed to do with that?

Jim finally rose. He was supposed to be in the recreation room watching Spock and Uhura perform. Spock was going to play the Vulcan lyre and Uhura was going to sing. And Jim had said he would be there.  

His heart wasn’t really in it, but a promise was a promise.

The recreation room was crowded so Jim scooted in way at the back of the audience that had gathered to watch Spock and Uhura perform. They had obviously already sang a couple of songs before Jim’s arrival and were in the middle of one when Jim arrived.

“Here, Captain,” an ensign said, thrusting a thin paper program at him.

Surprised, Jim’s gaze scanned the program and realized they were already on the fourth song of six they planned to perform. He smiled a little to himself, realizing the program had to be Uhura’s idea. He couldn’t see Spock bothering with such trivialities.

She had a good voice and he played beautifully, but Jim felt a little uncomfortable in the crowded place. He preferred more intimate settings to listen to music. But clearly their show was popular.

The song ended and everyone applauded and cheered. Some even ‘whooped’ rather enthusiastically.

Two more songs later, and Jim slipped from the room, while many crew members rushed the stage to talk to Uhura and Spock.

He’d only been back in his own quarters for fifteen minutes when his door chimed.

“Enter.”

Spock stepped inside his quarters, hands clenched behind his back.

“Oh, hey, Spock. Good show. I really enjoyed it.” He smiled. “You probably didn’t know I was there with all those people filling the room.”

“I knew you were there,” Spock assured him. “You arrived during the fourth song.”

“Uh. Yeah.” Jim rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry I was late. Transmission from Admiral Estrella.”

Spock nodded. “Is there a problem, Captain?”

“No. Yes. No.” He laughed and got up from his desk and went to the replicator in his room. “Tea?”

“Please.” After a moment, Spock said, “Which is it?”

“Well, it’s nothing earth-shattering. It’s more a personal problem for me.” Jim brought tea to Spock and then took his own tea over to the couch in his living room area. Spock followed and sat down as well.

“I am willing to listen,” Spock offered.

Jim sighed. “They are going to interview me as part of some ‘Faces of Starfleet’ kind of thing.” Jim grimaced. “Somebody’s going to ask me questions which I guess they will later put in the article. And not just questions they send me, but an interview I have to do with an actual person.”

He realized he probably sounded utterly ridiculous. But he really hated that kind of thing.

“I see why that would make you uncomfortable,” Spock said after taking a sip of his tea. “If you would like, I can sit in here with you while the interview is conducted.”

Jim blinked, surprised, but happily so. And feeling just a touch of warmth pool in his stomach. “Yeah? Really? You’d do that?”

That earned him the famous Spock brow. “I have just said so.”

“That would be great. Thank you.” Jim grimaced. “There’s worse.”

“What?”

“They also-also want me to do some kind of live chat where I take questions from people that call in or sign in or whatever.”

“People?”

“Yeah not press or Starfleet. But anyone I guess. Estrella seems to think I’m a pinup model or something. It’s stupid. I like my anonymity.”

Spock cocked his head. “I am not really certain you are as anonymous as you believe.”

“Yeah, but fans? He claims I have fans.” Jim shook his head. “Stupid.”

“I will sit with you during the live chat also if that is your preference. I can sit off camera for support.”

The warmth nearly enveloped Jim now. His eyes were shining as he said, “Really?”

“Really. I endeavor to make your duties as smooth as I am able to do as your first officer, Captain. And if my support is needed during trying times, then I offer my support.”

Jim felt so much better suddenly that he almost felt lightheaded. He took a swallow of his own tea, spiced orange, and it made him smile. The whole thing did. There had been no prearranged meeting for Spock to come to his quarters after his concert with Uhura, and yet here he was. He had come.

Jim could do this stupid publicity thing for Starfleet.

“You really were great tonight. Sorry I only saw the end.”

“It is no matter.”

“Yeah. All those people you probably hardly missed me.”

“I missed you.”

Jim looked down into his tea, suddenly feeling shy. He had no idea why.

Spock finished his tea and rose. “Goodnight, Captain.”

Jim smiled. “Night, Spock.”


	6. Audience

“Do you have a lady friend?”

“Do I what?” Jim tried not to flick his gaze to where Spock sat off screen. He’d gotten through the interview relatively unscathed. But now he was participating in the question and answer part with an audience.

The moderator, a middle-aged woman who had a superior smile, looked at him. “One of your fans would like to know if you have a girlfriend, Captain.”

The “fan”, which Jim still vehemently disputed, stood up and went to some kind of microphone or something. She had to be about twenty or so with green streaked blonde hair.

“My name is Ellie, Captain.”

“Hello, Ellie.”

“I just love you,” she told him emphatically. “I download every picture I see of you. Even the bad ones. Not that you ever take a bad picture.” She beamed at him.

“Um.” He blinked rapidly and dug his nails into the palm of his hand to keep from looking at Spock for help. “Thank you?”

“I play the video of you getting up and wiggling to get the crumbs off your pants like constantly!”

Jim knew he was red.

“Your question, Ellie,” the moderator said politely.

“Oh, my Gosh. You’re just to die for. And I want to know if you have someone, because I want to have your babies.”

Jim could not help looking at Spock this time. Spock’s eyes were as wide as saucers.

Jim focused back on “Ellie” with no small effort. “Well.”

“Because you see, Captain, twins run in my family and with your coloring—”

“I’m afraid settling down right now isn’t really an option for me. Next question.”

Ellie looked like she had something else to say but she moved off and let the next person approach.

“Captain…May I call you Jim?” This one was an Andorian woman.

Jim nodded. “Okay.”

“Rumor has it that you and your Vulcan first officer are unusually close.” She paused while her antennae twittered.

“I wouldn’t say unusually close, no. We work together and see a lot of each other so naturally closeness is a part of that. But unusual? I don’t think so.”

“So you don’t…share quarters?”

“Share quarters?” Jim laughed. “No.”

“Do you oppose the idea of your fans shipping you two together?”

“Sh-shipping?” Jim shook his head. “Look, I wouldn’t be averse to it but—listen, aren’t there any questions related to Starfleet business or our missions or something?”

Another “fan” walked up. “Is it true you’re allergic to socks?”

“Allergic? No. Anyway, I’m wearing socks right now.”

“Can we see?”

Spock rose from where he sat and came around the desk. “I am afraid that will have to be it for now. The Enterprise has received a priority distress signal.”

“Are you Spock? Can you—”

Spock disconnected.

Jim buried his face in his hands. “Oh, my God. That was awful.”

“I agree it was highly illogical and disconcerting.” Spock put his hands on Jim’s shoulders and began to massage them. “You are very tense, Captain.”

“Can you blame me? I mean what the hell was that?”

“They are curious about you.”

“I don’t know why.” Jim groaned. “That feels fantastic, Mr. Spock.”

“Would you care for a beverage and something to eat?”

“I am kind of hungry. But really, there’s no need to wait on me or anything.”

“My purpose in being here was to provide you support,” Spock reminded him. “I am supporting you.”

Jim watched Spock as he went to the replicator. “You know your being here with me probably did nothing to quell the speculation.”

“Probably not. But I find I do not particularly care and I cannot imagine you do either.”

“No, no, of course not,” Jim said quickly. “We know the truth. Let them have their fantasies.”

Speaking of which, Jim averted his eyes from Spock’s ass when he turned around with food from the replicator.

“A chicken enchilada and beans as well as an iced tea.”

“Thank you, Spock. You definitely know how to take care of me.”

Spock sat near Jim with a cup of what smelled like his usual spiced tea. “It is over now and you have survived.”

“Do you think the others had to go through that?”

“Others?”

“Pratt and Evans.”

Spock nodded. “I suspect so.”

“Probably worse because I’m hardly anyone. They have to be more popular than I am.”

“I am not so certain.”

“Oh, come on. That Pratt guy can do no wrong as far as the press is concerned. And that other one? Doesn’t he have some nickname that includes Captain? Captain Fantastic or something. No thanks. I’ll stick to my anonymity.”

“Very wise of you, Captain.”

‘You aren’t hungry?”

“I ate with Nyota just prior to coming into your quarters.”

“Oh. Sure. Of course. How’re things?”

“Things, Captain?”

“I just heard things were a little tense between you lately. But I guess you’re okay?”

“Yes, Captain.”

Jim smiled. “Good. Now I’d love to play chess or something but I’m behind on my reports as it is.”

“Understood. I have not meditated myself for several days.”

“Yeah? Why?”

“No time. But it would appear that I may have the time now.”

“Thanks for, Spock. For everything. You really are the best first officer.”

Spock stood and inclined his head. “Thank you, Captain.”

Jim watched Spock leave and shook his head. He really shouldn’t rely on Spock for so much emotional security. But, well, Spock didn’t seem to mind. And Jim needed him. Too much.


	7. Dagger of the Mind

Captain’s log, personal private entry.

_We’ve just left the Tantalus Penal Colony behind for the second time and I’m not quite sure I’ve recovered. Dr. Van Gelder has returned to Tantalus and has taken on the responsibilities of it. He’s destroyed the equipment for the Neural Neutralizer.  Not soon enough for many of the prisoners on the colony. Nor for me. I feel unexpectedly restless and unsettled after being forced by Dr. Adams to undergo significant treatment under it. Bones says there’s some wobbliness, his words, in my brainwaves, but he expects me to eventually go back to normal. Normal for me is relative anyway._

_Spock has been quiet ever since he came upon me kissing Dr. Helen Noel. It was entirely at Dr. Adams’ suggestion, which even Dr. Noel advised, and yet…I’m probably imagining things. Spock wouldn’t care who I was kissing anyway. As far as I know he’s patched things up with Uhura._

End entry.

Jim snorted. What a pathetic log entry.

The thing was, he didn’t even like Helen Noel. She was attractive enough but he found her far too stuck up and not really his type. And yeah, he knew his type. Tall and thin with dark hair and pointy ears.

With a shake of his head, he turned to his reports.

He pinched the bridge of his nose when his door chimed. “Enter.”

“Captain.”

“What can I do for you, Dr. Noel?”

“Helen.”

Jim shook his head. “Dr. Noel.”

She sighed and looked down at her hands which were clenched in front of her. She shifted. “I wanted to apologize for my part on Tantalus.”

“It was Dr. Adams—”

“Yes, but I was the one who made the suggestion we’d had an affair at the Christmas party.” Her gaze rose to his. She lifted her chin. “I’ve always been attracted to you, Captain. Jim. And I let myself get carried away. It was unprofessional.”

“Well—” His door chimed again. “Enter.”

The door swished open and Spock stepped inside. He stopped short when he saw Helen Noel.

“Hello, Mr. Spock,” she greeted him with a smile.

“Doctor.”

“That will be all,” Jim said to her.

“Yes, Captain.” She gave Jim a furtive glance before hurrying past Spock and out the door.

“It was not my intention to interrupt anything.”

Jim waved that away, his gaze going to his reports. “You didn’t. She was here to apologize.”

Spock clenched his hands behind his back. “I see.”

“What was your intention then?” Jim smiled, looking at Spock once again.

“To ascertain the state of your health.” Spock took a step closer. “You seemed distressed after your ordeal with Dr. Adams.”

“It’s—a little much, yeah.”

“Dr. McCoy indicated you will recover all functions.”

“Yes. I know. I just feel a little…wobbly I guess.”

“Perhaps it would be wise to keep you in the medbay.”

Jim snorted. “No, thanks. Anyway, I’m fine. You can go spend the night with Uhura or whatever you do.”

Spock’s dark eyes narrowed. “We remain friends.”

Jim scrunched his nose. His brain couldn’t take riddles. Not right now. “You and I?”

“Nyota and myself. We are friends. We have not reestablished our romantic relationship. Therefore, there would be reason for me to spend the night with her.”

“Oh.” Jim licked his suddenly dry lips. Funny how his palms were sweaty though. And Jesus, why did he care anyway? Just because Spock wasn’t with her, didn’t mean he was with Jim. Or wanted to be. Or fucking anything. It meant exactly nothing.

“Jim?”

And God, did he have to say ‘Jim’ in that low, sexy tone like Jim was a piece of chocolate melting on his tongue. God, that stupid machine affected him more than he thought.

“I’m glad.”

“Captain?” Spock’s eyebrows shot up.

“That you remain friends,” Jim said quickly. “You know.  That. I meant that.”

Spock nodded. “If there is anything I can do to ease your mental distress—”

Oh there was plenty Spock could do. Jim could think of a dozen ways.

“No. Um. There’s nothing. Thank you, Mr. Spock.”

“Very well, Captain. Goodnight then.”

“Goodnight.”

But as soon as Spock left, all Jim could do was think of all the ways Spock could ease his distress. And most involved Jim naked with his legs up in the air. He shook his head and clicked out of his report. He would go to bed and sleep. Well. If he had to take care of certain matters before sleep would claim him, did it really matter if he imagined someone with pointy ears?


	8. Comfort

“Oh no, you found me.”

“Captain?”

Jim smiled and shook his head as he stood looking out at the stars in the observation deck. “Never mind.”

“Dr. McCoy has been looking for you.” Spock came to stand next to him, hands clenched behind his back.

“I figured he would.”

“You disabled the ability of the ship’s computer to verify your whereabouts.”

“Mm hmm.”

“In an emergency—”

“I would have fixed it eventually. And in an emergency you would have contacted me via the intercom system.”

Spock turned toward him. “Jim.”

“I know. I’m aware I’m wallowing a bit.”

“I did not say that,” Spock said softly. He moved a little closer to Jim and Jim was aware he was attempting to do it subtly. “There was nothing you could have done.”

“Isn’t there?”

“Negative. They knew the risks, Captain.”

“I didn’t have to send them down there to begin with. It wasn’t that important.”

Spock’s gaze searched his face. “You could not have known what would happen.”

“Small comfort, Spock, when five lives are gone.”

Spock continued to watch him in silence for a minute or two. “What is it you require?”

Jim swallowed and closed his eyes. “I don’t require anything.”

“I do not agree.”

Jim opened his eyes and finally turned to look at Spock. “Has anyone ever told you that you are stubbornly persistent?”

“Yes,” Spock said simply. “Do you require food?’

“No.”

“When did you last eat?”

“I don’t know. But right now? No food. I still haven’t recovered from puking up my guts.”

Spock’s eyebrows furrowed in a tiny frown. “Are you ill?”

“No.”

“If you are expelling the contents of your stomach—”

“Spock.” Jim stopped him with a hand on his arm. “I’m not sick. It’s the stress. Sometimes it gets to me.”

“You feel too deeply.” Spock stepped even closer until he was very much in Jim’s personal space. “I would ease your distress.”

“How?’ Jim shook his head. “I appreciate the thought, but---”

Spock suddenly wrapped his arms around Jim and pulled him close, up against him, holding him in what was really rather an awkward, yet tight embrace.

Jim sucked in a startled breath and almost pulled away. He didn’t let anyone hug him mostly because it was…not much comfort, honestly. But this-this was Spock. And God…it was Spock.

“Better?’ Spock asked softly, resting his head against Jim’s.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “Better.”


	9. Diplomatic Intimacies

Jim stepped off the transporter feeling as though he’d been run over by a herd of wild horses. And he felt like he hadn’t slept in four days. Probably hadn’t much.

God, diplomacy.

“Welcome back, Captain.” Jim had been on the Starbase for five days.

“Thanks, Miller,” he said with a tired smile directed at the transporter chief.

The doors to the room swished open to reveal Bones.

“Wondered why you weren’t here to greet me.”

“I was delayed.” Bones eyed him. “Jim, you look like shit.”

“I love you too.”

“Any injuries?” Bones asked as he followed him from the room.

“From diplomacy?”

Bones snorted. “I’ve seen your diplomacy skills, don’t forget. Get some sleep. Lots of it. And for God’s sake eat something.”

Jim nodded absently as he got into the turbolift and it closed on Bones’ concerned face.

As soon as he made it to his quarters he leaned heavily against the bulkhead.

He hadn’t felt this wrecked since Altamid.  

His door chimed. His eyes closed, he called out, “Yeah, come.”

“Captain?”

Jim opened his eyes when he heard the note of alarm in his first officer’s voice. “Hi, Spock.”

“You did not report.”

“I meant to. Would have gotten around to it.” Jim tried to straighten from the wall but immediately sagged to the point of almost stumbling. Spock immediately hurried to him, grabbing his biceps to keep him upright. Jim smiled. “Thanks.”

“When was the last time you slept?” Spock asked sharply.

“Um. I don’t know really.” He blinked. “Need a shower.”

“I will assist you.” Spock pushed up Jim’s uniform shirt and then sucked in a breath. “You have a large bruise forming on your abdomen.”

“Oh, that.” Jim nodded. “Yeah. It’s fine.”

“It is not fine. How did you acquire it on a diplomatic mission?”

Jim waved his hands or tried to because Spock was pulling his shirt up over his neck and head, then off. “Got in a fight in a bar.”

“You should have reported to the medbay.” Spock gingerly touched it. “Does Dr. McCoy know about it?”

“No. It’s fine. Just a little bruise.”

“Hardly.”

Jim shook his head. “Just…I need that shower.”

“Does it hurt?” Spock demanded.

“Yeah. But not like excruciating or anything. I’ve had way worse.” Jim glanced toward the replicator. “I could use some coffee.”

“No coffee. You need to sleep. You will have your shower, I will obtain food for you, and then you will sleep.”

“I’m too damn wiped to argue,” Jim admitted.

He was a little surprised when Spock led him to the bathroom. But he didn’t fight it because he wasn’t really sure he could walk on his own.

“Do you have more injuries?” Spock queried as he turned the shower on for Jim. And Jim noticed he set it to water, which was a great idea as far as he was concerned.

“I don’t know. Maybe more bruises. If it matters, I won.”

Spock knelt in front of him to remove his boots. “It does not.”

“I can do that,” Jim feebly protested.

“You are barely standing.” Spock, having gotten rid of Jim’s footwear, now stood and moved his hands to the fastenings of Jim’s pants. Jim just watched as Spock slid the zipper down and then shoved the pants down Jim’s hips.

“I should probably do that myself.”

“No doubt.” Spock shook his head as he made Jim step out of the pants. “You have bruises on your legs also.”

“Uh-huh.” Jim yawned and heard his jaw pop.

“What was the fight over?”

“I don’t know. Vulcans or something.”

“Vulcans?” Spock arched his brow.

Jim nodded.

Spock pushed him toward the shower. “Can you remove your briefs or do you want me to?”

Jim suddenly felt absurdly shy at the idea of Spock seeing the family jewels. He was pretty sure he was blushing. “I got it. Them.”

“Very well. Come out when you are finished.”

****

Jim felt a little more awake and alive when he came out of his bathroom and into his quarters proper. Spock had at some point laid out pajama bottoms and a tank top for him in the bathroom. He never even heard Spock come back into the bathroom and part of him wondered if Spock had sneaked in a peek. He sure would have done so if Spock had been in the shower.

On his desk was a rather large helping of pasta with chicken. Some vegetables, too. He smiled in Spock’s direction, because of course Spock was still there.

“Thanks.”

“You are welcome.” Spock watched as Jim went to his desk and sat down to begin to eat. “You appear to be stressed.”

He nodded as he cut a bit of chicken. “Yeah. To be honest it was pretty much hell.”

“What can I do to ease your stress?”

Jim shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t need anything, really. You don’t have to be concerned I’ll demand more hugs from you. I don’t need one every time I’m stressed. Hell, your arms would be around me 24/7.”

“I am not concerned,” Spock replied.

They lapsed into silence, a comfortable one really, as Jim finished eating. He disposed of the plate and then rose from his chair.

“Should go brush my teeth.”

“I will prepare your bed while you do so.”

Jim laughed. “I don’t need to be tucked in or anything.” But he went back into the bathroom and brushed his teeth.

When he came back, his covers had been pulled back for him. He smiled softly. “Spock, thanks. Really.”

He went to go past Spock to get into bed, but was stopped by Spock’s hand on him. His gaze rose to Spock startled when Spock’s hand went beneath his tank top to the bruise on his stomach. The slight ache that had been there was suddenly gone.

“How’d you do that?”

“There are ways to block the pain as a touch telepath,” Spock informed him.

“Yeah? That comes in handy.”

Spock’s brown eyes were unexpectedly warm. It made Jim’s insides flip. Jim licked his dry lips.

“Spock, I—”

“You should sleep now, Captain.”

Jim nodded. “Yeah. Thanks again. For everything.”

“It was no trouble.”

Spock waited for Jim to get under the covers, then he ordered the lights out and left Jim’s quarters.

It was all really intimate, Jim decided. And he was pretty sure he was reading far too much into it. What he wanted to see, no doubt.

But he couldn’t shake the feeling that his relationship with Spock had taken a definite turn. Either that or he really was too tired.

Stupid diplomacy.  


	10. About That Lecture

“You okay?” Jim directed the question to Spock.

“Yes, Captain.”

Jim nodded sharply, looking more than a little angry as he turned his attention away from Spock to Sulu. “And you?”

“Fine, Captain.”

Spock was tied up with Lieutenant Sulu to some sort of native contraption that was designed to disembowel them unless it was disconnected by the natives themselves. Spock had beamed down to the planet with Sulu, a yeoman, and two security guards.

The guards were dead. The yeoman had been sent back to the ship to fetch the captain and Spock and Sulu had been tied up at their current location.

“You call this peaceful negotiations?” Jim demanded. “Two of my crewmen are dead.”

“Unfortunate, Captain, but they were the aggressors,” their leader said through a universal translator. 

“Let them go.”

The leader, an undetermined male or female, gestured to another and spoke in their language. That native undid Sulu, who quickly stood and went behind the captain.

“Him too.” Jim said, flicking his head toward Spock.

“I think not, Captain. We need someone to ensure the Federation is fair.”

“Then take me.” Jim said flatly.

Alarm shot through Spock. “Captain—”

“An interesting prospect,” the native said. “A highly decorated and well-thought of celebrity captain.”

“I’m not a celebrity,” Jim insisted.

And Spock had to bite his tongue not to tell Jim it was not the time.

“Switch the Vulcan out for the captain.”

Spock wished to protest but he also knew it would be illogical to do so. And arguing with his commanding officer in front of others was not the right thing to do.

“Go back to the ship and monitor the situation,” the captain said as the natives reached for him to hook him up to their contraption.

“It is not necessary, surely, to keep him attached to that,” Spock said. “The Federation is cooperating.”

“Indeed. And if they continue to do so, then your captain has no need to fear,” the leader said. “It is not our intention to harm him and as you yourself know it is not unduly uncomfortable.”

Spock opened his mouth to protest that it was quite obviously their intention to harm him if they connected him to a machine that would disembowel him, but changed his mind at a look from the captain.

He took out his communicator. “Two to beam up.”

****

Spock had remained calm as befit his position while the negotiations with the Federation continued as well as the negotiations for the captain’s release.

Three days had passed before the natives were satisfied with the direction the Federation was going and they agreed to allow the captain’s release.

Spock had seen him briefly as McCoy seized hold of him the minute he’d been beamed back on to the Enterprise.

“We’ll talk later,” Jim had called over his shoulder, as he was led to the medbay.

The captain—Jim—had appeared unharmed. Spock himself had spent some time under captivity and the machine had not harmed him, but Jim had been attached to it for longer and though he had seemed fine, McCoy needed to check him. Plus the captain had looked physically exhausted and Spock had to wonder if he’d slept at all.

Once McCoy had determined the captain was all right, he had sent Jim to his quarters to sleep. Because, as Spock had suspected, Jim hadn’t had much sleep at all in the three days he was absent from the Enterprise.

“But he was unharmed?” Spock asked Dr. McCoy as they sat in the mess room. McCoy had a cup of coffee and what he said was supposed to be apple crisp. Spock had tea only, though the doctor had kept pushing his apple crisp toward Spock to get him to try it.

“A few bruises,” McCoy replied.

“They struck him?”

“Not according to Jim. I guess it was that thing he was attached to.” McCoy shuddered. “Nasty piece of business. But you’d know. Jim said you and Sulu were connected to it.”

“Briefly. Not for the length the captain was.”

“Says they didn’t try to harm him otherwise but that it was impossible to relax without it pressing on certain parts, so he pretty much stayed awake the whole time. Was suffering from exhaustion and hunger.”

“I do not believe they will make a good addition to the Federation.” Spock said, sipping his tea. “They are barbaric.”

“Not for us to decide, I suppose.” McCoy pointed to the apple crisp with his fork. “You aren’t going to try this?”

“It is my intention to check on the captain.”

“He’s fine, Spock. Resting.”

“Nevertheless.”

McCoy eyed him and then smirked. “Well.”

“Well, doctor?”

“Didn’t think I’d see it, but you’re smitten.”

“I do not understand.”

“Jim.” McCoy grinned. “You like him.”

“He is an adequate and efficient commanding officer.”

The doctor laughed. “Sure, sure. You keep telling yourself and me that’s all it is. You’re smitten.”

“As usual, doctor, you make no sense at all. If you will excuse me.” Spock stood and disposed of his now empty teacup into the receptacle.

As he left the mess, he ran into Nyota.

“Oh, hi, Spock. Want to have some tea with me?” she asked with a smile. They’d been attempting to maintain a friendship after the dissolution of their romantic relationship.

“At the moment, I am on my way to see the captain.”

“Oh.” Her smile widened. “Of course you are. Well. Good luck with that, Spock.”

Spock arched a brow. He shook his head. “Another time, Nyota?”

“Yes. See you, Spock.”

Spock went up to the deck with the officer’s quarters and then to the door of Jim’s. He pressed for entry, hoping he was not rousing Jim out of sleep.

“Come in,” was the almost instant command.

Spock stepped inside. Jim stood in the middle of the room dressed in loose fitting shorts and a blue tank top that was almost an exact match to his eyes. He smiled.

“What’s on your mind, Spock?”

“It was inappropriate for you to exchange yourself for me,” Spock began.

To Spock’s surprise, Jim laughed.

“So, it’s to be a lecture, huh?”

“Regulations state—”

“Oh, hang regulations.”

Spock blinked.

Jim walked over to him until he was standing right in front of Spock. “Kiss me.”

“Captain?”

“I know you want to.”

Spock opened his mouth on a denial. He most certainly did not wish to kiss his captain.

Jim smirked. “No? Okay, then. Guess I was wrong.” He turned to move away and Spock ensnared his wrist, yanking him back toward Spock. “Hey, what—”

Spock crushed Jim’s lips under his, effectively shutting up his captain for the first time…ever, probably.

Jim gasped into Spock’s mouth, which was strangely appealing, and then kissed Spock back with astonishing fervor.  

When they had to break for air, Jim’s eyes were shining and his lips were wet. “God, I thought you’d never do that.”

“You have been waiting?”

“You bet your sweet pointy ears I have,” Jim said with a grin, as he went in for another kiss.

And Spock happily obliged.


	11. Defining a New Status

“Out with it.”

Jim looked up from his bowl of cream of wheat. He blinked at Bones. “With what?”

His friend, sitting across from him in the mess, nudged him with his foot. “Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“God, you’re even more obtuse than usual.” Bones sighed and stirred sugar into his coffee.

“Thought you gave that up.”

“It doesn’t taste right without it,” Bones grumbled. “You and Spock.”

“Oh.” Jim smiled. “Nope.”

“Nope?” Bones looked incredulous. He swept his hand in the general direction of Jim’s neck. “What the hell are those?”

“Bite marks.” Jim grinned as he lifted his own coffee to his lips.

“Bite marks.”

“Vulcan bite marks to be precise.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Correct.”

“Then where exactly did those come from?” Bones sighed. “I can’t believe I’m asking this.”

“Me either. Since when are you so interested in my sex life? Or Spock’s?”

Bones drummed his fingers on the table. “I have to live vicariously through the two of you since I don’t have my own life.”

“You could if you wanted. There are plenty of crew members who are sweet on you,” Jim said with a wink.

“This is about you not me.”

“We made out but didn’t, you know.”

“And why is that? Don’t tell me you’re shy.”

Jim laughed. “Hardly. And neither is he, by the way.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “God I hate myself right now. Then why?”

“He got called away to deal with some disastrous lab experiment. Went on for hours. And I fell asleep.” Jim shrugged.

“You fell asleep.”

“I was tired.”

Bones nodded. “You should have been. Jesus, Jim, how many times have you gotten yourself injured in the last month? Spock didn’t wake you?”

“Of course not. We’ll have other opportunities.” Jim scooped up several bites of his cream of wheat before continuing. “If it makes you feel better, I woke up in the middle of the night to find him all cuddled up next to me in bed. He was very sweet.”

“Sweet. Spock sweet.”

“Yep.” Jim knew his smile was a bit besotted. “He’s really a sweet little pussycat.”

Bones stared at him for a good long minute. “Does he purr?”

“Only when you pet his—”

“Shut up.”

“Ear.”

“You did that on purpose,” Bones complained. “So what exactly does this all mean?”

“What does what mean?”

“I need about five more cups of coffee for this conversation. You and the hobgoblin. Sitting in the tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. And whatever else you’re bound to get up to. Does this mean he’s your new bestie?”

Jim shook his head. “Nah, he’s been my bestie for several months now.”

Bones stuck out his tongue.

Jim laughed. “Kidding. No one can replace you, Bones. As for what Spock is, I guess, um, well.”

“Your boyfriend?” Bones suggested.

Spock took that moment to approach their table carrying a tray with a cup of tea on it as well as what looked like a waffle smothered in strawberries. “Captain.”

“Commander.”

“Doctor.”

“Idiots,” Bones mumbled.

Spock showed no reaction to Bones’ word and sat beside Jim as he always did. He did glance at Jim’s neck, but to his credit didn’t so much as blush over the evidence of their activities.

“You look downright proud of yourself,” Bones commented.

“I tried to cover it up with this collar but they were too high up.” Jim tugged at the collar. “Damn, this thing chokes my neck fat.”

“You have no neck fat, Captain.”

“You know what I mean.”

“You two lovebirds going to spend all the rest of our mission ogling each other like a couple of saps?” Bones demanded even as his mouth dropped watching Spock feed Jim a strawberry.

“Thanks,” Jim said to his first officer with a smile.

“You are welcome, Captain,” Spock said, his gaze on Jim.

“Guess I have my answer,” Bones said, standing up.

“Did you ask something, doctor?” Spock asked, looking toward Bones.

“Oh, no, no. Don’t mind me. I’m invisible.”

Spock quirked a brow at Jim as Bones departed. “Perhaps it is time for some shore leave. The doctor seems to be mentally unbalanced.”

Jim laughed. “You may be right about that. What’s our next mission anyway?”

Spock pulled out his PADD. “I will show you.”


	12. Winging Away

“I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Spock looked up from his PADD. “Nyota?”

She sighed and plopped herself down on the settee in his quarters. She had changed out of her uniform and now wore what she referred to as a lounging outfit. It was big and flowy and seemingly comfortable. She fingered the pendant Spock had given her which had once belonged to his mother.

“With Kirk.”

“I was under the impression you no longer viewed him as the insufferable promiscuous sleaze ball you once did.”

She had the grace to grimace at her own ill-chosen words. “I definitely don’t. I like him. A lot. I just…I don’t want you to get hurt, Spock.”

“I do not believe Jim intends to hurt me.”

“Oh, no. Not physically, no. I think his intentions are good. It’s just…he’s not known for monogamy.”

Spock tilted his head. “There have been times in the past I have not practiced monogamy.”

She smiled at that. “I know. But I know you, Spock. You want that with Jim. Don’t you?”

“Yes,” Spock said without hesitation. “But my point is that I believe he is as capable of changing and committing to only me.”

“I hope so.” She shrugged. “I’m probably just being jealous anyway.”

“Nyota?”

She laughed. “Oh, I know we’re through. And have been for a while. Probably even before it became official. And anyway, I’ll get over it.”

“I am glad we remain friends.”

“As am I.” She picked up the pendant. “Are you sure you don’t want this back? To give to Kirk, maybe?”

Spock shook his head. “As I said before, it was given as a gift. I do not expect it back. And Jim only wears a watch and a ring on his small finger most of time. I do not believe he has a fondness for neck adornments.”

Spock’s door chimed.

“That’s probably your Romeo now.”

“Since Romeo was an immature teenaged human male who took his own life in a premature dramatic fit of emotionalism, I do not feel the comparison—”

“Spock, let him in,” Nyota said with an eye roll.

“Door open.”

Jim walked in already talking. “Listen I was—” Jim stopped, stared at Nyota. “Oh. Hey.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not staying,” Nyota assured him as she rose from the settee.

Jim smiled vaguely.

“See you later, Spock.”

“Sorry,” Jim said. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. You did say to just come over when I was ready.”

“Indeed. I meant it. Nyota stopped by unexpectedly.”

“To warn you off?”

Spock blinked.

Jim laughed. “I knew it.” He walked over to Spock and pulled him up out of his chair where he sat behind his desk. He put his arms around Spock’s neck and kissed him.

“You are not upset?” Spock asked doubtfully.

“Why should I be? First of all, she’s wrong. And second of all, I would have expected it. She’s your friend and your ex.”

“Did Dr. McCoy try to warn you off of me?” Spock asked, trailing his lips across Jim’s jaw.

“Pretty much. But I don’t care what any of them say.”

This surprised Spock. “You do not?”

“No.” Jim smiled. And it was such a beautiful smile that for a long time Spock could only stare at it. At him. “I’ve never wanted-this is like—”

“Jim?”

Jim laughed again. It was both startling in its volume and heart rendingly sweet. A most peculiar combination. He touched his fingertips to Spock’s left cheek. “I’ve never had this. Never had anyone I’ve wanted like this. Sex is—it’s great. But all it’s ever been for me is physical release. Maybe that’s because I was so shut off from the deeper stuff. I don’t know. But you-you overwhelm me. And it should be fucking scary as hell. It’s not though. I want this. I want you. And whatever the fuck anyone else says, doesn’t matter. All that matters is if you want it too.”

Spock closed his eyes and leaned into Jim’s touch. “I want nothing more than to drown in you.” The words were painfully illogical and true nevertheless.

Jim’s lips found his.

The whistle whined.

“Ah, hell.” Jim stepped away from Spock.

“Bridge to Captain Kirk.

“Kirk here.”

“Distress signal, Captain.” Sulu said. “Rigel VI.”

“Lay in a course. Warp factor 4. I’m on my way.”

“Rain check, Mister Spock?”

“Indeed, Captain.” As they exited Spock’s quarters, side by side, Spock brushed Jim’s fingers.

****

Spock woke to the sound of medical equipment in his ears. With a quick look above him, he confirmed he was hooked up to a biobed. And that meant—

Spock struggled up out his prone position.

“Whoa, whoa, Mr. Spock. Can’t have you getting up.”

A familiar, friendly voice. Nurse Chapel.

Her smiling countenance appeared above him as she gently pushed him down.

“The captain—”

“I’ll get Dr. McCoy.”

Spock almost sighed in frustration. He did not want Dr. McCoy. Although it seemed more likely he’d get an actual helpful response out of the doctor since Chapel seemed incapable of one.

They’d been on Rigel VI when a large beast with wings attempted to abscond with the captain. Spock had barely managed to free Jim before it attacked him. Thus why he was in the medbay now.

“Oh, good, you’re awake.” McCoy said as he began to walk toward Spock. “How do you feel?”

“Like I have been clawed over every inch of my body.”

“Not every inch. But nearly.”

“And my stomach is upset.”

McCoy nodded. “That should ease soon. As well as the pain.”

“The Captain?”

“Just a little bruising from being dropped by that thing.” McCoy scanned Spock. “I sent him away to rest. He’s been here a lot.”

Spock nodded. “How long have I been here?”

“This is your fourth day.”

Spock began to rise. “I should—”

“What you should do is lay back down and rest. Everything’s under control.”

The medbay doors opened.

“I heard Spock woke up.”

Jim’s voice.

“It’s true,” Jim said, relief clear in his voice as he appeared at Spock’s side. He was grinning. “Hey.”

“Captain. I am relieved to learn you are unharmed.”

“Oh brother.” McCoy rolled his eyes. “You need help with your romantic declarations, Spock.”

“I was not attempting—”

“Five minutes, Jim. He needs his rest.” The doctor eyed Jim. “And so do you. You look like hell.”

Jim grasped Spock’s hand as the doctor moved off.

“Listen, I’m mad at you.”

“For?”

“Putting your life in danger. Do you know how much blood you lost?’

“I could not let the creature carry you away.”

“To be fed to her children. Pretty gruesome fate.”

“Indeed.”

Jim touched Spock’s jaw with his fingertips. “Thank you. Even if it was foolish of you.”

“You are a highly valuable Starfleet officer and it is my duty—”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Bones is wrong. You really are good at romantic declarations,” Jim said, looking very amused.

“He is right about you. You look like you need rest.”

“I’m fine.”

“Jim.”

“I’m going.” He squeezed Spock’s hand. “Sooner or later we’re actually going to get to fuck.”

“I am hopeful it is the former.”

Jim grinned. “Me too. I’d kiss you but we’re in the middle of the medbay and I think I should be dignified or something.”

“Probably yes.”

“Maintain decorum.”

“Affirmative,” Spock agreed.

Jim gave Spock’s hand one last squeeze and then he released it. “I’ll come check on you later.”

Spock nodded and closed his eyes as Jim’s footsteps faded away.  


	13. Delirious Confession

Okay, so yeah. This was bad.

Not that Jim hadn’t been in bad situations before. Maybe even worse ones. Yeah. Not that he could recall them at the moment.

He couldn’t really feel the lower half of his body which had to be a bad sign, right? A really bad sign. He couldn’t remember when he’d last eaten either. Before they captured him. He sorta recalled having dinner with Spock just after he’d been released from the medbay. Was that the last time?

So maybe he was going to die. That would suck. He and Spock hadn’t done anything more than kissing. Wouldn’t that be typical of his life though? Finally got the Vulcan of his dreams only to be tortured to death by an evil alien despot.

The only thing worse than not feeling the lower half of his body is that he could feel his head and it felt like his brains were maybe leaking out. That last blow surely cracked his skull and his brain was probably swelling. He’d already noticed that his vision was getting worse but that could also be because they’d hit him in the eye so badly his eye was swollen shut and was caked with blood.

Bet he looked real pretty now.

He was laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling of his cell. One more torture session and he’d be a goner. If he lasted that long.

“Love you, Spock,” he whispered to the apparition kneeling beside him. “I’m sorry.”

****

“Oh my God.” Jim shot up in the bed, gasping for breath.

“Cease.” Strong Vulcan hands pressed to his chest and then arms wrapped around him. “You will do yourself no further injury. I will not allow it.”

“Spock?” Jim whispered, when he could get his throat to work around the lump in his throat. The knot in his chest loosened. He just hoped he wasn’t dreaming.

“Yes, ashayam.”

“Am I—”

“In the medbay. Affirmative. Unfortunately. Again.”

Jim smiled. “We have to quit meeting like this.”

Spock eased him back to a lying position. “I am in complete agreement.”

“Am I…” Jim licked his dry lips. “In one piece?”

“Yes.” Spock squeezed his hand.

“Fully functional?”

“Yes, Jim. Or you will be. I should summon Dr. McCoy.”

“Wait.” Jim tugged Spock back as he began to move away. “You saved me.”

Spock’s eyes softened as he gazed down at Jim. “I will always save you if it is in my power to do so.”

“So that was really you in the cell, right? Not my imagination?”

“Not your imagination.”

“I don’t know how you did it, but thank you.”

“There is no need to thank me,” Spock said softly. “And Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“Why didn’t someone tell me he was awake?” Bones suddenly appeared, scowling.

Bones and his bad timing. Still Jim had to admit it was good to see Bones. Scowl and all.

“I only just did.”

“Well.” Bones pushed Spock out of the way and smoothed Jim’s hair off his forehead. “Twenty-five more gray hairs, Jim.”

“Bones—”

“Twenty-five. I counted them.”

“Doctor, if my presence is not required I will return to the bridge.”

“Sure. I don’t need you for anything and Jim needs his rest,” Bones replied.  

Jim frowned. “Ah, you’re making my boyfriend go away.”

“You’ll live,” Bones said without sympathy.

“I will be by later, Captain.” And then Spock left.

Jim sighed.

“What?”

“I don’t know. I just think he was about to get all gooey until you interrupted.”

“Spock gooey?”

“Hard to believe I know. I think I told him I loved him.”

Bones hit a button on the biobed and Jim heard the scan begin. “You think?”

“I was delirious.”

Bones snorted. “You’d have to be.”

Jim stuck his tongue out.

“Be still. You’re lucky. No permanent damage.”

“Hard to get through my hard skull.”

“I’ve been saying that for years. Anyway, haven’t you two already declared your undying love?”

“Not in words.”

“If it’s physical—”

“Not that way either.”

Bones looked at him. “Then how?”

“Well, we haven’t. Or he hasn’t. I mean I think I did. And I think he was about to. We’ve just, you know, kissed and cuddled, and said we wanna.”

“Okay, okay,” Bones muttered. “I’ve definitely heard enough. Go back to sleep. When you wake up again we’ll get you some food.”

“Can’t I just go?”

His friend chuckled at that. “No way. You’re here another week, princess.”

“Bones.” Okay he was whining. But still.

“At minimum. Rest.”

Jim made himself close his eyes. Maybe he’d dream Spock had said he loved him too.   


	14. Christmas on the Enterprise

“Hey.”

Uhura eyed the piece of mistletoe Jim held between his two fingers as he leaned down toward her. She turned her face at the last minute so he got her cheek. He merely laughed.

“What brings you and your parasitic plant to my side?” she asked with a smirk as Jim sat down beside her.

“It’s almost Christmas.”

“So?”

“What should I get Spock?”

She laughed and played with her earring. “Oh, Captain. Are you actually asking me this?”

Jim leaned his chin on his hands. “Well, yeah. You aren’t bitter or anything or are you?”

“You wish.”

“Then help me out. What kinds of things did you give him?”

“Captain, Spock and I never exchanged gifts for Christmas or any holiday. Spock doesn’t celebrate Terran holidays.”

Jim frowned. “But his mother—”

“She didn’t either as far as I know.”

“Hmm. But he did give you the necklace.” He pointed to the chain he could see sticking out of her uniform dress.

“He did, but that wasn’t for any occasion. It was just a symbol of his affection,” she said softly, almost wistfully.

And Jim could have kicked himself for even bringing it up. It wasn’t like he liked to hear about them. At all.

“Oh, stop,” she admonished. “He’s with you, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. But nothing for Christmas?”

“Well, if you ask me, which you have, you ought to give him that famous booty.”

Jim gaped at her. “Excuse me?”

She shrugged. “There’s a rumor going around.”

“Rumor?”

“That you won’t put out.”

“Me? What?”

“You’re playing hard to get.”

“I am not! He was injured and I was injured. And one of us was sick. Well, it just hasn’t worked out.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Captain, really.”

Jim snorted. “Yet apparently you’re free with the advice about my sex life.”

“You asked.”

“About a Christmas gift. Not about how to get laid by a Vulcan.” Jim rolled his eyes and rose. “Do me a favor and discourage that gossip. Spock too. I am sure he’d appreciate it too.”

“Yes, Captain,” she agreed with a nod.

****

It was all Jim could think about later that day as he watched his crew laughing and celebrating the upcoming festivities. He heard more than one group of carolers and he came close to telling them to stop, only because he’d turned really quite surly over the whole thing. The crew gossiping about him and Spock? And not just gossiping but speculating that Jim was holding out on Spock. For what purpose, Jim had no clue. And-and they were also seemingly aware on some level that he was a little submissive. And Jesus, where had that knowledge come from?

He almost went to Bones over the whole sordid thing but then couldn’t imagine his mood would improve over Bones’ no doubt jocularity over the matter.

So he went to his shift on the bridge in an unsatisfactory mood. Kept to himself mostly. And tried not to notice the pointed stares coming his way from Spock, who no doubt wondered what his illogical boyfriend had done now.

When his shift was over, he headed to the turbolift without a backward glance and glared at a couple of ensigns that dared to think they could ride with him.

His quarters was quiet but his yeoman had thoughtfully put up a three foot Christmas tree in the corner and decorated it with ornaments of the ships of the fleet, which Jim, begrudgingly thought was cute, and tiny little blinking multi-colored lights.

For a moment, as he stared at it, all he could think of was Christmases past, back in Riverside, that never contained Christmas trees or presents. Only long days of uncomfortable silence, if he was lucky. Verbal abuse and violent beatings if he was not.

He’d remembered a nice Christmas his first year on Tarsus IV before things turned bad, horrible even, but that particular memory faded compared to other darker memories, and in the end, Jim hadn’t really cared for Christmas. But the crew did. It was a morale booster, at least for some, and so Jim okayed it like he always did, every year.

This was the first year he’d thought to participate really, because he finally had someone he cared about more than anything or anyone, but of course, he’d chosen Spock or Spock had chosen him, and though he was ecstatic with that choice, he felt…melancholy.

When there was a request for entry into his quarters, he was not at all surprised. His only surprise had been that it had taken Spock that long.

“Enter.”

It was, of course, Spock who stepped in. As usual, his hands were clenched behind his back, but this time at a slightly weird angle Jim couldn’t place. The door swished closed behind his first officer.

“Your quarters look quite festive, Captain.”

He tried not to wince at the ‘captain’. He rarely got ‘captain’ in private and rarely got ‘Jim’ in public. Spock knew exactly what to call him and when.

“Hey. Listen, I wanted to apologize for my earlier behavior. I’m a little—”

“Bad tempered?”

“Er yeah. So, um, I’m sorry.”

Spock nodded. “Apology accepted. Perhaps this will improve your mood.” He withdrew a small green metallic box with a tiny red bow adorning it.

For a moment Jim’s heart stuttered.  It was far too soon for such serious declarations. They hadn’t even had sex yet. Suppose Spock thought Jim was terrible. Or Jim thought Spock was terrible. Sure they could overcome that. Maybe. But…he felt panic tighten his chest.

“Jim.” Spock interrupted his thoughts and thrust the box at him. “Perhaps you ought to open it and see what it is.”

His mouth dry, Jim nodded. “It’s not Christmas yet.”

“I am aware. But it would seem that perhaps you need this now.”

“Uhura said you didn’t exchange Christmas gifts.”

“You are not Nyota,” Spock said simply.

Jim stared down at the box. His eyes weren’t getting misty at all. They were not. He carefully unwrapped it, saving the paper. Those around him, if he ever even got presents, always assumed he would tear into the package like some savage beast. The assumptions about him were always flying.

He lifted the lid of the box to see a  wide silver ring with a small rock in the middle.

“It is meant to be warn as a pinky ring,” Spock explained quietly, allowing the panic tightening his chest to loosen.

Jim smiled as he lifted it out of the box. “It’s gorgeous.” He put it on his pinky. “Fits perfect too.”

“I made sure of the size.”

Jim tilted his head. “Wait. Is that a-what is this rock, Spock?”

Spock’s color suddenly deepened.

Jim laughed. “Are you going to track me, Spock?”

“Only when necessary,” Spock answered, his eyes shining.

Jim kissed him. He had to. “I don’t have anything for you.”

“I have all I need, standing here with me.”

“Have you heard the rumors?” Jim wondered as Spock pulled him close.

“Rumors?”

“Uh-huh. That I won’t put out.”

Spock arched a brow. “Put out?”

“Yeah, you know, have—”

“Yes, I am aware of the context, Jim.” Spock rubbed his thumb over Jim’s bottom lip. “And will you?”

“Well I—”

The whine of the whistle sounded loud and annoying in his quarters.

“Son of a bitch!” Jim pulled out of Spock’s arms and hit his com. “Kirk here.”

“Sorry, Captain,” Sulu said. “Distress signal from the planet, R 29. Priority from Starfleet.”

“I’m on my way.”

He looked to Spock. “Merry Christmas, Baby.”

“I am not a—”

Jim laughed and kissed him. “Shut up, Mister Spock.”


	15. At Last

“Hey.”

Jim scowled as Bones nudged him with the toe of his boot under the table. “Hey yourself. What do you want anyway? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

Bones looked pretty much unaffected by Jim’s sour mood. “You’re on your PADD, ignoring a gloopy mess that passes for oatmeal like most mornings. What’s different?”

“We’re supposed to investigate a new star system.”

His friend shrugged. “So? We’ve done that before. Why the grouchfest?”

“It’s nothing.” Jim reached for his coffee and took a sip. He put it back down with a grimace when he realized it was cold.

Bones tapped his fingers on the table. “Where’s lover boy?”

“Who?”

“Mister Pointy.”

Jim grunted.

“Your first hobgoblin.”

Jim returned his attention to his PADD. “How would I know that?”

“Aren’t you two doing the nasty?”

“No. I told you before we haven’t done it. There’s always something that happens. He gets hurt. I get hurt. There’s a red alert. Uhura needs him to write music. Whatever.”

“Far be it for me to want to even imagine anything between you two, but Jim sometimes you just have to make time.”

“It doesn’t matter now. I don’t think we’re ever going to do it at this point.”

Bones frowned. “Should I ask?”

“Spock’s just a big stupid jerk.”

“Uh-oh.”

Jim just shook his head and continued reading about the new star system.

After a minute, Bones cleared his throat. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Hardly paradise. And yeah, you could say that.”

“You didn’t break up, did you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. I flounced out of his quarters last night and I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”

“You had a fight.”

Jim nodded.

“Do I want to know what about?”

“It was stupid.”

“Aren’t they all?” Bones smirked, but there was no malice behind it. His eyes were sympathetic. “Details?”

Jim blew out a breath. “He never gets jealous.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“Well, yeah. I mean the Chancellor’s daughter was all over me on that last planet, she even kissed me. Which Spock witnessed, by the way. And _nothing_.”

“So, it is a bad thing?” Bones smiled. “Maybe he just trusts you, Jim.”

“I asked him if it bothered him that I flirt and he said no. I asked him if it bothered him that I cheated when she kissed me. He said he doesn’t consider kissing cheating. Which led me to believe he’s been going around behind my back kissing others.”

“Um, what?”

“If he doesn’t consider it bad, it’s because he wants to do it himself, right?”

“That’s some bizarre logic.”

“That’s what he said. Then I asked him if it would bother him if I actually had sex with someone else.”

“Lord save me.”

“His answer was a very calm, ‘have you?’ Just like that, in this total robotic voice.” Jim refrained from growling but barely. “I said, ‘no.’”

“And?”

“He said then this was a completely pointless conversation.”

Bones sorted of nodded. “He had a point.”

“Don’t start with me, Bones. You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I am.”

“That’s when I left his quarters.”

“Flounced,” Bones reminded him. “Jim, you aren’t going to like what I have to say.”

“When do I ever?”

“True,” Bones replied. “Maybe Spock is just what you need.”

“Excuse me?”

“Gee, I don’t know, Jim, it seems like Spock intends for you to have a mature, healthy relationship that doesn’t include a bunch of games. You ought to try it sometime.”

Jim opened his mouth and then closed it.

“You’ve never had a real, healthy relationship built on trust and love have you?”

“Well."

“Yeah, well. Games about whether Spock’s jealous if you flirt or kiss someone or imply you slept with someone, it’s all bullshit. Do you really want to lose Spock over something that stupid or do ya, I don’t know, wanna grow up?”

His communicator chirped.

“Bridge to Captain Kirk.”

Jim flipped open his communicator. “Kirk here.”

“Klingon Bird of Prey on approach, sir.”

Jim was already out of his seat. “Go to red alert, Mr. Sulu.”

****

Jim was exhausted and sure he could sleep on his feet as he entered his quarters after the battle. He’d fallen out of his chair at one point and banged his head pretty good. Even got a cut across his brow. But Bones had fixed it, in between dealing with more serious injuries. There were casualties, nine altogether, which wasn’t horrible, really, but still more than Jim wanted.

He eyed the bathroom door and tried to decide if he wanted to take a shower or if he wanted to just fall right into bed.

He turned toward the bed when his door chimed.

Probably some update from the battle, so he should probably can get it.

“Open.”

When Spock stepped in, Jim was not prepared to see him. They’d worked together during the Klingon Battle. Spock had even pulled Jim up after he’d fallen out of his chair and hit his head. But they’d both been busy and hadn’t had time to talk or have alone time. And suddenly their argument came crashing down on Jim. Inexplicably, Jim’s gaze went to the pinky ring Spock had gifted him with at Christmas.

He recalled during their fight, just before he’d _flounced_ out, he had twisted it on his finger and shot out, “Do you want this back?”

The weight of his ugliness from that argument was a lot to bear.

“Spock—”

Suddenly Spock moved, pushing him hard against the bulkhead in his quarters. He had Jim trapped between his two muscular arms that slammed against the wall. Jim’s eyes widened in shock.

“I demand to know now if your intention is for a fully committed relationship between us.”

Jim licked his lips. “Well I—”

“Now, Captain.”

In any other circumstances, meaning if Spock didn’t look just like he had before he’d choked Jim to within an inch of his life, Jim would have found humor in how Spock insisted on calling him captain in such an intimate situation. Just now with his heart pounding, he was anything but amused. Fucking turned on was more like it. Yeah, he had no shame.

“Yes.”

Spock arched a brow, even as his dark gaze lowered to Jim’s lips. “Yes what?”

“Yes, I’m fully committed.”

Those dark eyes rose and met his eyes. The room was still charged with that same intensity between them right before Nero.

Jim opened his mouth, prepared to say more, but then Spock’s lips were on his, unexpectedly kissing him, no devouring him, and as Jim gasped, the Vulcan’s tongue thrust in, tangling with his like a sensual sword fight.

If Spock wasn’t trapping him there, Jim would have fallen to his knees. He was instantly, achingly hard.

_Please._

Spock’s fists clenched the top of his uniform shirt and, with fucking hot strength that made lust pool in Jim’s belly, he ripped it down the middle then quickly discarded the remnants of Jim’s shirt. He had dozens in his closet to replace it.

Spock, eyes blazing hot, looked down at Jim’s boots. “Why are you still wearing those?”

“Because I—”

“Silence, you are not to speak.”

Jim snorted. “You asked me a—”

Spock slapped his hands over Jim’s mouth.

Jim tried to be affronted, but really, his dick was just too hard.

The next thing he knew, Spock lifted him up off the floor and carried him toward the bed. Damn, Vulcan strength was awesome.

Spock yanked the boots from his feet and Jim was about to protest that his feet were in there but the dark look Spock threw him stopped the caustic words in his throat. Next his pants came off, the briefs with them, leaving Jim naked and yearning on the bed.

Any thoughts of exhaustion were replaced by adrenaline pumping through him. He opened his arms to reach for Spock, but Spock turned around from him, giving Jim his back as he worked on removing his own clothes. Jim couldn’t complain too much at the awesome sight of Spock’s ass.

Spock finally turned around and joined Jim in his naked glory, beautiful and flushed just a faint green. Jim straightened up on his elbows to get a better look as Spock settled himself. He zeroed in on Spock’s double ridged cock, raising proudly toward him, and glistening with slick.

“While it is true, my penis secretes slick, I would prefer to use extra lubricant so that you experience no discomfort while I claim you.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask Spock what made him think he was going to top Jim, but really, who the fuck was he kidding? They both knew.

He moistened his dry lips. “Top left drawer.”

Spock moved quickly, though with his usual grace, and Jim was reminded that Spock really was like no one he’d ever known and that was a good thing. A very good thing.

Spock was already twisted off the lid of the bottle, concentrating on it very much like he would some science project.  Which actually thrilled Jim. That Spock would have such singular focus on something that involved him—

The Vulcan turned back to him, covering Jim’s body with his own. His dark eyes maintained their intensity as he leaned into Jim and took possession of his lips once more.

When Jim came up for air, he whispered, “If there’s a red alert right now I’ll die.”

“You will not. And I told you to be silent.” His eyebrow was raised rather sardonically but all it did was make Jim harder if that was even possible.

“Are you gonna fuck me or sass me?”

Spock leaned into Jim again, nipping at Jim’s bottom lip until Jim cried out. He slipped his hand down Jim’s body until it rested on the crease of Jim’s ass. He growled some words in Vulcan that Jim didn’t understand at all, but they sounded hot anyway.

His breath hitched as Spock’s long fingers entered him, spreading the lube within him. He felt alive everywhere, his body a mass of electricity, as Spock moved three fingers into him.

“Spock, God,” Jim moaned out.

The other hand not inside Jim’s body moved to Jim’s face, spreading out at the psi points and for a moment Jim thought Spock was going to meld them but it was just like a light caress across his mind and then Spock’s hand moved to tweak Jim’s nipples.

“Unhhh.”

Spock’s hand withdrew from Jim and Jim found himself flipped onto his stomach, his legs spread out and pushed up.

“Yes,” Jim gasped. “Please.”

Spock hoisted himself above Jim and then with aching slowness, he pushed his cock into Jim’s ass. After he’d begun to wonder if this would ever happen, it was glorious being stuffed full of Vulcan cock.

Spock’s fingers threaded in Jim’s hair and he pulled Jim’s head back so that he could latch his teeth onto the pulse of Jim’s throat. Spock was surely going to mark him and Jim didn’t care. Spock said he was going to claim him, and Jim was ready for it.

Spock thrust deep inside him, pushing, pushing. Jim got a hand under himself and grasped his dick, his fist sliding up and down. His teeth sunk into his bottom lip.

Spock’s breath ghosted over his ear and he whispered more Vulcan words. Jim shivered, clawing at the sheets beneath him and arching up into Spock’s powerful thrusts.

He could tell Spock was getting close when he began to pump Jim’s ass frantically, growling out, “Ashayam,” over and over. He felt his own balls tighten in response and then his cock released all over his fingers and the sheets under him. Spock tensed above him, coating Jim's channel with his own cum.

The heavy weight of the Vulcan who collapsed on him should be way more uncomfortable than it was. But some part of him couldn’t believe he was squashed under Spock.

Wow, he had it bad.

“’m sorry,” he mumbled.

Very slowly, Spock pulled out and then flopped down next to Jim, allowing Jim’s lungs to fill with air at last.

“What did you say?”

Jim wondered if Spock really hadn’t heard or if he just wanted to hear Jim apologize again. Considering his Vulcan hearing, he was pretty sure which one it was.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what do you apologize?”

Jim sighed. Closed his eyes. “You’re really going to make me suffer, aren’t you?”

Spock’s fingers stroked Jim’s forehead with amazing gentleness. “That was not my intention.”

“Bones said I need to learn how to be in an adult relationship without playing games.”

“You spoke to the doctor about our argument?”

“Uh-huh. He’s on your side, by the way.”

“There is no side to take, Jim. I am with you because, for me, there is no one else. I assume it is the same for you.”

“It is.”

“Then there is no need for jealousy, is there?” His thumb caressed Jim’s right cheek.

Jim opened his eyes and smiled. “There’s no need.”

“You should sleep now, ashayam.”

“What about you?” Jim yawned.

“I must meditate. I will join you in slumber after.” Spock sat up and then leaved over, placing a rather chaste kiss on Jim’s forehead. “Do not hog the covers.”

“I don’t,” Jim muttered, closing his eyes.

“You do,” Spock said softly as he left the bed.

Jim opened his eyes and watched him. “Are you sure you have to meditate right now?”

Spock gave him a half smile. “I suppose I can meditate after sleeping.”

Jim opened his arms and Spock rejoined him, plastering himself to Jim’s chest as he closed his arms around him.  


	16. Nightmares

It was wrong to say that Vulcans did not dream. They did. Perhaps not as often as humans or simply they did not discuss it as often. But they dreamed.

Spock thought perhaps he dreamed more than others because of his human half. That was possible.

When he was a child he remembered waking in the night to the voice of his father yelling. Frightened, Spock had risen, only to be met in the corridor by his mother who assured him his father was fine, he’d just had a nightmare. Long after Spock had returned to his bed, he’d heard his mother murmuring to his father. He never knew what the nightmare had been, only that it had been very troubling.

After the death of his mother and before Spock had gone on the five-year mission with Jim, Spock had witnessed another nightmare of his father’s. He’d heard the word “Amanda” and knew all too well what disturbed his father even in dreams.

Jim had many nightmares and each time Spock had been with him, he had gently stroked Jim back to sleep. Jim always apologized, though Spock told him it was illogical.

They spent most of their rest periods together at this point. Jim always told Spock he should go back to his own room because he disturbed Spock too much but Spock always insisted on staying with Jim because of his restless sleep patterns.

_“Spock, I’m sorry I can’t revive him.”_

_Spock stared at Dr. McCoy. “Explain.”_

_McCoy shook his head, looking haggard. “It’s too late. His cells are too irradiated.”_

_“Khan’s blood—”_

_“It didn’t work. Since you killed him—”_

_“No. I stopped. Nyota stopped me.”_

_The doctor shook his head again. “He’s gone. Jim’s dead.”_

_“No,” Spock insisted. There was a body on a biobed, covered by a sheet. Spock could see it out of the corner of his eye but he refused to look in that direction. He would not. “You saved him. This is not real.”_

_“Spock,” the soft voice of a woman called to him._

_He turned toward her and saw his mother standing near the covered body. She smiled at him sadly._

_“Mother.”_

_“I will take him now.”_

_“No!”_

_“Spock, don’t be so stubborn. You know he was never meant to be with you.”_

_“He was. Is. He is mine.”_

_“No. Not in this universe.” She looked at the body and reached for the sheet to pull it away._

_“No. Mother, stop.”_

_“There’s nothing here, Spock.” She pulled away the sheet to reveal just the biobed._

_“Jim—”_

_“You saved him after Khan, remember?”_

_“Yes,” he whispered. “Where is he?”_

_“He was blown into space when he stopped Krall from destroying Yorktown,” she said stepping forward. “Don’t you remember?”_

_“No. I saved him. I caught him.”_

_“You missed. You cannot save him every time, Spock. Jim will die. And you will be alone.”_

_“Mother—”_

_“You didn’t save me either.” She disappeared before his eyes, falling as she had during the destruction of Vulcan._

_“No!”_

Spock sat up, his chest heaving, his heart hammering in his side.

“Spock, Spock, it’s okay, it’s okay.”

Jim’s hands on him, on his back, rubbing. “Baby, it’s all right.”

“Jim,” he croaked out.

“I’m here. I’m here.”

Jim drew him close and Spock buried his face in Jim’s neck, surprised by the moisture he left there. He was crying.

“I’m here, Spock. I’m right here.”

“You-you died.”

“No, I’m here,” Jim said, petting his hair. “I’m here with you.” He took Spock’s hand and put it over his own heart. “See? I’m here. I’m with you.”

“Do not.”

“Do not what?”

“Leave me,” Spock whispered brokenly.

“I won’t.”

“I cannot bear it.”

“Spock, shhh.” Jim’s hand cupped his jaw, drawing his face up and his lips into a kiss. “There’s no need. We’re here…together.”

“But she is right.”

“Who is right, baby?”

“Mother. I cannot protect you.”

Jim’s smile was soft and sympathetic. “It was just a dream. And I can protect myself.”

“You take too many chances.”

“Maybe? I don’t know. But I love you.” Jim kissed him again. “Worrying about the future will just…we can’t do that, Spock. What is that Vulcan word? Kaiidth.”

Spock nodded, leaning against Jim. His heart was aching and he didn’t think he would get back to sleep for a long time. And his mother’ words haunted him. Even if, logically, he knew his own mind created them.

“I love you, Jim,” Spock whispered. “More than anything.”

Jim smiled. “I know. I feel the same. Do you want something? Tea maybe?”

“Yes,” Spock agreed, but when Jim made to move off the bed to see to it, Spock pulled him back, closing his arms around him. “Later.”

“Okay.” Jim allowed Spock to hold him, practically smother him, and perhaps he should not hold Jim so close, so tightly, but for now…he had to.    


	17. He Drives Me Crazy

“Bones, I need to talk to you.”

Bones looked up from the PADD he was studying next to a biobed with an unconscious ensign.

Jim frowned. “What happened?”

“Nothing too serious. He passed out when he got a face full of pollen in the botany lab. He’ll be okay.” Bones eyed him. “What’s this about needing to talk?”

“Yeah. Office?”

“I have a headache, Jim.”

Jim tugged his bottom lip with his teeth and started to nod.

Bones sighed. “Fine. Come on. You have that look on your face.”

“What look?”

“The one that says you’re about to tell me about something emotional and personal and it’s going to make you puke. Follow me.”

Jim continued to frown as he followed Bones toward his office. “Wait. I have a look. Like that?”

“Boy, do you. Sit down.” Bones pointed to the chair in front of his desk. He reached into a drawer and pulled out a bottle of booze and two glasses. “Is this going to be a one or two shot story?”

Jim flopped down in the chair with a grimace. “It’s not a story. It’s just…you know. About Spock.”

“When isn’t it?” Bones poured whiskey into two glasses and then handed one to Jim before taking his sit. “All right. Tell me the latest. What did he do?”

“He didn’t do anything.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing,” Jim exclaimed.

Bones smirked. “What did your father-in-law do?”

“Wait. What? Sarek isn’t my father-in-law.”

“Sure. Sure.”

Jim fidgeted nervously. “He isn’t! Spock and I aren’t married.”

“Whatever you say. So, was it Sarek?”

“No! I haven’t even talked to him. Since. Well…since. No one’s done _anything_ , Bones. It’s just, um, well, Spock likes to cuddle.”

“Cuddle.”

“Yeah. Like…excessively. The thing is, I don’t mind some of it, I like to touch as much as the next person, but you know, I get hot, and he gets kind of hot when he sleeps, you know, and he’s like all over me and I…don’t like it.”

“All over you.”

Jim was about to comment on Bones just repeating what he said, but with a shake of his head he held up his fingers to demonstrate. “Okay, this is me.” He stuck his middle finger out, pretty amused when Bones arched a brow at him. “And this is Spock.” He covered his middle finger with his index finger, squishing them together.

“Have you, I don’t know, tried nudging him off you?”

“Have you ever tried to budge Spock?”

“No.”

Jim snorted. “Trust me, it can’t be done. Once he’s in place unless I wake him up, which is surprisingly difficult by the way, he’s there to stay. I wake up sweltering and kind of like claustrophobic.”

Bones pinched the bridge of his nose. “Have you tried telling Spock to lay off?”

“What? No! I mean, he’s with me. Do you know how incredible that is?”

His friend drummed his fingers on his desk, finished his shot and then poured another. “Look, Jim. Relationships are all about compromise. You know that. Or you should. You aren’t trying to use this as an excuse to ditch Spock, are you?”

“No!”

“Just checking. Your track record on relationships is sketchy at best. The thing is, I’m sure there are plenty of things about you that drive Spock insane.”

Jim frowned. “Plenty of things? Like what?”

Bones rolled his eyes. “Jim.”

“Seriously, Bones. Do I drive you crazy?” Jim paused. “I do. Don’t I?”

“Let me count the ways.”

“But—”

“Jim, this isn’t about me. This is about Spock. My point is, in relationships, there are bound to be things you just have to tolerate about the other person. And I’m certain there are things about you that Spock tolerates just as you’re going to have to learn to tolerate his…Vulcan cuddling.” Bones made a face.

Jim made a decision right then to ask Spock just what Jim did that Spock hated. “Um. Okay. I think I better go. Spock should be off shift and waiting.”

“Good.” Bones waved when Jim opened his mouth. “Not that I don’t like to talk to you. Now go on. Go cuddle with your first officer.”

Sure enough Spock was already waiting in Jim’s quarters. Their quarters. Mostly. He was behind the desk, working on reports or something. He looked up when Jim entered.

“Hi.”

“Hello Jim.”

“I was just seeing Bones.”

Spock nodded. “I can smell the alcohol.”

“I only had like half a glass,” Jim felt the need to defend himself. He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Spock, do I make you crazy?”

“Psychosis is not conducive to a health relationship.”

“Funny. You Vulcans have an odd sense of humor. I’m serious. Bones said there are probably lots of things you merely tolerate about me. If I make you that crazy, I have to wonder why you’re even with me.”

Spock arched a brow. “That is one of them.”

“Excuse me?”

Spock rose from behind the desk and came around it to stand close to Jim. “You have an insatiable need for constant reassurance of my feelings for you.”

Jim’s mouth dropped open. “Uh.”

“At least three times a day I must reassure you of my affection for you.”

“Three—” Jim licked his lips. “Not that often.”

Spock had the audacity to look amused. “Yes, that often. I understand it even while I do find it taxing. But yes, I am constantly assuring you that you have my regard and that I will not leave you.”

“Well.”

“For a Vulcan to have to constantly declare such things is quite illogical.”

Jim felt his face heating. “It’s not like I’m this great guy or anything. So, yeah. I don’t really get why you’re with me. It makes no sense to me.”

“It makes perfect sense to me. And though I do find it trying at times, I will continue to reassure you that you are of utmost importance to me and that there is nothing and no one that could ever make me leave you.”

Jim’s chest tightened. “Oh.”

“Just as, though you find it equally trying, you allow me to hold you very close while we sleep.”

Jim blinked and then swallowed around the lump in his throat. “You-you know about-about how that kind of bothers me?”

“Ashaya, you are not at all subtle about anything.”

He didn’t know what to say about that so he said nothing.

“My affection and protective instinct surrounding you manifests itself by my wish to hold you close to me while in slumber. It is one of the ways in which I attempt to show you that you are cherished.”

Jim took a step closer to Spock. “When you put it like that, well, I think I can learn to like cuddling.”

“Indeed.”

Jim smiled and put his hand on Spock’s chest. “About that reassurance.”

Spock shook his head, his expression once more clearly showing how illogical he thought Jim was—and yeah, he definitely was—and touched his lips to Jim’s forehead. “T’hy’la.”  


	18. Anniversary Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We jump ahead a bit in time in this chapter from the previous ones.

It was a day like any other and it was stupid to think or feel otherwise. There was nothing special about it. Okay, well, there was to Jim. But not to anyone else. And most especially not Spock. In fact he’d think it was absurdly illogical for Jim to put any importance on it at all.

So Jim had vowed to keep his remembrance of what day it was completely to himself. Silently he held a little reverence for it but that was it.

And anyway, as days went, it ended up pretty much sucking.

He’d been sitting on the bridge for a couple of hours before he first started feeling horrible. It started out with his stomach twisting painfully and then turned into a terrible nauseousness. By the time Bones notified him that Ensign Martell had brought back the Dorivian Flu from shore leave, Jim knew he was in trouble.

He’d tried to ignore his ever worsening condition. Tried to hide it from those around him. But of course he couldn’t fool his first officer.

“Captain.”

Jim blinked rapidly and barely resisted running his hand over his face. He licked his lips. “Yeah?”

“You are ill.”

“No. No. No. I’m fine.”

Spock arched a brow. “You most certainly are not.”

“Seriously, babe, I’m fine.” Jim winced. He never called Spock an endearment on the bridge and Spock knew it.

Spock hit the comm. “Spock to Doctor McCoy.”

“McCoy here.”

“The captain has the flu.”

“I do not,” Jim protested.

“Bring the idiot here. McCoy out.”

Jim sighed and stood up and immediately fell into his first officer’s arms.

****

“You’re an idiot,” Bones grumbled as he helped Jim into his bed in his quarters.

“Yeah, yeah.”

“You should have reported feeling sick earlier. Now I don’t have any beds.”

“Suits me fine, I don’t wanna lie around the morgue.”

“It’s the medbay.”

Jim made a face as Bones fluffed up his pillows and pushed him against them. “Same thing.”

“Not at all.” Bones stood back, hands on his hips. “I think you’ll live.”

“This isn’t going to infect Spock, is it?”

“Nah, they’re practically immune to everything. He’ll be fine."

"He's been sick before," Jim pointed out.

"Yeah, but rarely. And it’s not like he’d stay away from you even if I told him to.”

Jim smiled faintly. Even now he could feel a slight warm buzz in the back of his mind where his bond with Spock was.

“Spit it out.”

“What?”

“You look all mopey.”

Jim scowled. “I’m sick.”

“Yeah, I know. But there’s something else.” Bones give him his best sympathetic look, which, of course, worked every time.

“It’s stupid,” Jim admitted.

“I’m sure it is. But what?”

Jim stuck his mottled tongue out at Bones. “Today’s…our anniversary.”

Bones frowned. “What anniversary? You only got bonded three months ago.”

And _that_ had been a bit of a surprise. But they'd been near New Vulcan and well...

“Not that. Um. It was a year ago, um, you know.”

“What?”

“ _Bones_.” Jim gritted his teeth. “The first time.”

“The first time what?”

Jim made a strangled noise.

Bones laughed. “I totally knew what you meant. I was playing with you.”

“Fucker.”

“Sorry to spoil your fun, Jim, but no sex today. Probably not for a week or so.”

“A week?”

“Believe me, you won’t even want it.”

The door to his quarters opened and Spock stepped in.

“Your shift over?” Jim asked.

“Indeed.” His gaze flicked to Bones.

“Yeah, he’s fine. I was just leaving. Bed rest, Jim, for forty eight hours. Seventy two off duty.”

“Seriously?”

“Don’t I look serious?” Bones walked out without another word.

Jim pouted. Spock didn’t seem to notice. He walked up to the top of the bed and re-fluffed Jim’s pillows the way he liked them fluffed.

“Thanks, babe,” Jim said with a smile.

“You are very pale.”

“I feel like crap,” Jim admitted.

“You should not have waited to advise me of your difficulties.”

There was definitely admonishment there.

“It came on all of a sudden.” Jim sighed. “I never really had much contact with Martell.”

“You are sensitive to any ailments or allergens. He was probably on the same deck as you.”

“Funny.” Jim huffed.

“Are you hungry, ashayam?”

“A little I guess. Bones says I can have broth.”

Spock nodded. “I am aware. He sent me a list of limitations.” Spock went and fetched him broth from the replicator and then returned with it.

Vegetable broth, Jim noted dryly.

Spock sat on the edge of the bed. “You are agitated.”

“Well.” Jim shrugged as he took a sip of the broth. “I hate being incapacitated.”

“I know.” Spock reached for Jim’s hand. “And on our anniversary.”

Jim’s eyes widened. “You-you know about that?”

“We share our minds, ashal-veh,” Spock reminded him gently. “But you are correct.”

“About?”

“You are illogical.”

Jim laughed. “I love you so much.”

Spock’s lips curved ever so slightly. “I reciprocate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marked closed for now until inspiration hits. Sorry.


End file.
